Reflections

Well, that's another thing down.

The show went amazingly well on Friday night. By no means was it a perfect performance, but it was well received, and there were some great moments throughout. I finished off with a great feeling; it was a great performance, and I am glad to have done it.

However, now I am stuck in a type of musical limbo. I am both sad and happy to see Shadowcatcher go. Happy because I get 6 hours a week of my life back, but sad because this has been something I've wanted to do for the last 2 years. Now I've done it. So now what...

I know I've got my grad recital coming up, and I will be certainly working towards polishing up those materials. But it isn't the same thing. This was a huge deal; I'm still having professors and students come up and congratulate me on the performance. It's still in people's heads, and it's still in mine. I don't know if I can give it up now... you work towards something for so long, it becomes part of you. At least, in this musical sense, it became part of my musical definition for a long time.

Gene calls me the Ewazen expert. I'm not so sure about that, but I seem to be highly qualified (experienced is probably a better word) in performing his works. I'm doing another of his works for my recital, and I'll do another Canadian Premiere of a different work in April. I guess this is where my musical obsession is headed, but it seems a bit more nebulous. There is less to grab onto. Shadowcatcher was tangible; I knew what it was, and what had to be done with it. Specializing in a certain composer's music doesn't offer as much to hang on to. Not that I'd be limited in any sense, but I really enjoy his stuff.

I don't know, I'm just rambling on. I just didn't realize what frame of mind this performance was going to put me in.

On a side note, not only have I been called a "Fucking Genius" (thanks Joni!), but I'm also now a "Fucking Brilliant Bass 'Bone Player". I'm racking up the f-bomb laden compliments, even if some of them are a bit sarcastic.