The Ten Brass Commandments

Well, most musicians are aware of them, but it is nice to see it in writing. These are funny (or scary) only because, more often then not, it is true.

The Ten Brass Commandments

1. Loud is neither right or wrong, it just is.

2. Rhythm is irrelevant as long as you play loug enough.

3. Whoever plays the loudest has the right rhythm.

4. Whoever plays loudest wins --- and we always win.

5. Intonation is optional at fff or above --- tone quality is also a bonus.

6. Tone quality may/can/should/must be compromised for sheer volume.

7. Always have a target. (my favourite, I've got a story about this one)

8. Humour the conductors in rehearsals --- the performance is yours.

9. An outstretched palm means 5x louder.

10. A two-bar diminuendo is mearly a big accent.

11. This rule just shows that we really can go up to eleven.

What makes these "scary" is that there are players in the music world who actually subscribe to some of these ideas (such as number 8). There are some weird mentalities out there, especially with musicians.